Speaking to Your Children About Their Custody Agreement


During your divorce or separation, a custody agreement will be established for your children. There will be an adjustment period while your family adapts to its new normal, and your children may be curious about the changes in your lives. As a parent, you should be as transparent as possible and share what your children need to know about their custody agreement.

Set The Location

Before the discussion, talk to your children’s other parent to see if they want to participate. If so, find a time and neutral location that works best for both of you and create a plan. Discuss what you want to share with your children so that you are both on the same page. When you think you are ready, gather your family and begin the conversation.

Questions to Ask

When discussing custody with your children, starting with open-ended questions can set you up for success. With your children’s responses, you can discuss their concerns and answer any questions they ask you.

“Do You Know What A Custody Agreement Is?”

Starting off simple can set the stage for the rest of your conversation, especially when it is about custody. By asking your children if they know what a custody agreement is, they can share what they believe the answer is. If your children give you a response that isn’t quite right or that you feel can be expanded upon, begin a discussion about what custody agreements are and then lead into their agreement.

“Do You Know What Your Agreement Includes?”

Your children need to know the basics of their custody agreement so they can understand why they go back and forth between their parents or have visitation time. By asking your children what they believe their custody arrangement includes, you can prompt a discussion about time-sharing between parents.

“Do You Have Any Questions For Me?”

This question is a great way to end your discussion about custody with your children is to ask them if they have any questions. If they do, make sure to listen and answer to the best of your ability. You don’t need to share everything about your split, but you should try and give your children a non-evasive answer.

Smith & Sturdivant, LLLC Child Custody Attorneys

Your children may start to ask questions about their custody agreement. Being proactive and having a plan can make this discussion much easier as a parent. Our child custody attorneys at Smith & Sturdivant, LLLC understand the importance of protecting your family as you approach your new normal.

Call our child custody attorneys at (808) 201-3898 or contact us onlineto schedule an initial consultation with our team today!

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